so refine me Lord through the flames...

so many things to do. so many things on my mind. but alas here i sit pondering the events that take us by surprise in the moments when we really just yearn for stability. so very many questions. in the moments of greatest despair why it is that there is so much anger, yet so much comfort? so much confusion, yet so much confidence? anger in the depth of the situation. yet comfort in knowing that He is in control. confusion as to why. yet confidence that His blessings are still evident in my life. even in the smallest ways, there are simple truths that bring joy. even if it is just a scheduling that works out. however with this multitude of emotion comes such an overload and overwhelming sensation. i am too young for this. i am too unprepared. how do i care for the one who cared for me with so many barriers preventing me from serving completely? how do i faithfully fulfill my duties as a student, a fiance, and a daughter? the sun seems to set on the very question of such allocation of time. as my to-do-list ever lengthens, i find myself here. longing to praise. longing to worship. desiring to be bathed in prayer, but lacking the words to express what is flashing within these walls. me faltan las palabras. mi boca está abierta sin las palabras que expresar mi corazon.

this is but another season in my journey. another opportunity to praise His name regardless of the circumstances. this is my desert and my oasis simultaneously as i have such joy and sorrow emerging in my life. i can only pray that my heart can breath this prayer and my body can live it…