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Struggles

Cultivating a gentle and quiet spirit… 
I’m currently reading through A Year of Biblical Womanhood and it’s been a delightful, challenging, hilarious, and thought provoking book. The first chapter struck a particular cord with me that I haven’t been able to shake. Gentleness.

Now I am a fairly shy girl, but there are certain things that really get me going and I feel the need to express that. Like when the person cuts me off on the highway. Or when the waiter can’t get the order right. Or when Auburn is not doing so well on the football field and the refs can’t quite make the right call… And then the quite girl within turns into a little ball of fury. I attribute this to a lifetime of being told “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, but the fight in the dog” and told to get back out on that field and “show them who’s boss”.

I’ve always been taught to speak my mind, and let others know how I feel, and don’t hold it inside. That because of my size, and the fact that I am a woman, I should be quick to let others know that they could not pull one over on me! At the same time, scripture calls for us to tame our tongue, letting our “yes be yes and our no be no” and that we are to love others, and refrain from judgement. Such a juxtaposition of ideals. And as a woman, this image is one that seems even harder to mesh together into someone who is strong, confident, and honest without being a loud, obnoxious, bitch…

Typically when one describes a woman who has tamed the wild within and maintained a spirit that is both gentle and kind, meek is the word so delicately laid upon her. A word that, unfortunately, has drug along with it a culture of negativeity. Of thoughts of being overly submissive. Of never speaking up. Of always being walked all over as though the mat that greets you at door; ready and willing for you to smear it with your muddy prints, leaving behind a tattered mess and never saying a word in protest. Yet this definition of meekness paints quite a different picture:

Meekness: humbly patient or docile, as under provocation from others. gentle; kind.

Humbly patient. Such beautiful words to strive for. To have such simplicity in words and appearance so as to only say and have that which is neccesary. Never lacking, but never in unneeded excess. Adorned by His grace and mercy, His love overflowing to those around me with no showy display, but in the silence praising Him. Speaking truth, correcting when needed, and standing for what is right, all the while drawing others to Christ instead of driving them away because of seemingly hypocritical actions.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.  Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.            1 Peter 3:3-4

I pray that I would continually cultivate such a spirit. That I may hold my tongue and choose my words carefully, with thought, and with humility in mind. That my words would be uplifting, encouraging, and filled with joy. Is this going to be easy? No. It hasn’t been to this point, and will likely never be easy. But will it be impossible? No. 
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Comments

  1. Sophia Season says

    Gentleness is an area where I struggle as well. I was a very timid child. I was picked on and once I decided that I wasn't going to take it anymore, I became strong and outspoken. I've been able to tone it down, but there is still work to be done. I'm glad you've recognized these things within yourself and are working for a better you.

    Sophia

  3. Sybil@PeaceitallTogether says

    I can definitely relate to your struggle. While I am most of the time very quiet, there are those things that can get me going. Sometimes meek is seen to be the same as weak. As you have shown here, that is not the case.