The Honest Truth About Social Approval

For me, I wish I could say not at all. I wish I could say that truly the ONLY opinion that mattered to me was that of my Savior. But I would be lying to you. More importantly, I would be lying to myself.

I am a quiet girl, pretty much a wallflower by nature despite my difficulties in cultivating a gentle and quiet spirit. I hate to be the center of attention, in part because I hate the spotlight, but in part because it’s putting myself in an unnecessary view to be ridiculed.  I have talked with y’all before about trying to embrace my strengths and weaknesses, but all often the underlying factor to the pesky little habit that tends to consume my thoughts is that I am so far from confident that I crave the words of others to confirm that I am at all worthy in this world. To let me know I did a good job. That my outfit is cute. That I am loved. That I am accepted. 

When I was in undergrad, our d-group read through the Five Love Languages and it was rather an eye opening experience as to why words mean as much as they do to me. Words of Affirmation was my top Love Language. That’s how I feel most loved – by the use of words. Now this should not be a shock to anyone who knows me. I love to write. I love to read. Words are such a huge part of my life, of course they would hold special meaning to me in regards to love and worth as well.

Over the past fifteen years I’ve been learning to embrace forgiveness and trying to begin being honest with myself.  Attempting not to doubt everything I do. Everything I wear. And mainly my physical appearance and size. Confidence has never been a strong point of mine and I’ve certainly always been my biggest critic in every aspect of life. Ever look in the mirror and see something completely different than what’s actually staring back at you? Ever “feel” a certain way when no one else can see what you see? Ever see every little thing you could have done better instead of all the things that you did well? 

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That’s me. And while I have been so fortunate to avoid an overflow of the harsh words of critics, the silence equates to every bit as much. And the kind words do more to build me up than one could imagine.  My sweet husband is the one who has to deal with this most often and is the biggest encourager to helping me realize the truths that lie within all of the ridiculous nonsense I am all too good at creating in my head. I have no idea what I would do without such an incredible man to share this journey with.

And while I remember that social approval, whether it’s from co-workers, friends, family, or even my dear husband, is not what defines my worth, but rather that Christ does in the fact the while I was a sinner, he died for us. He dies for me. Not because of anything I did to deserve it. But to redeem us that we may know Him. So here are the words I need to hear. The words I need to focus on rather than the jumble of social approval I so foolishly seek.

I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved (Col 3:12;1 Thess 1:4)

I am the expression of the life of Christ because he is my life (Col 3:4)

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