If you’ve been in this space for any amount of time, you’ll surely have heard me make mention of our church and the community that encircles us there from time to time. Trinity holds a special place in my heart for several reasons, but for this season I celebrate what the past 8 months in particular and all that this little pin represents. You see, since the end of Aug until Holy Week, the husband and I were a part of a Wednesday night bible study that has deeply impacted me.
When we were in Mobile, we began to take the Disciple 1 class offered at our church seeking to learn more about scripture and build community, but unfortunately circumstances arose and we were unable to finish the course. After settling into our new house here, we wanted to get more involved with Trinity and knew that taking Disciple 1 would be a perfect jumping in point since we already were familiar with the material to a certain degree and we knew this time that the teacher would be equally as eager to dive further into the scriptures. So we jumped right into this immense commitment, and I am incredibly glad that we did.
I’m a nerd. And a perfectionist. And a lot of times, an underdog. I have always felt slightly ill equipped in my spiritual life when it comes to an intellectual perspective. What I mean is, I didn’t grow up in Sunday School. I didn’t jump around singing “Pharaoh Pharaoh” and “Father Abraham” and making beaded cross bookmarks every summer at Vacation Bible School or spend every Sunday morning competing in sword drills out-flipping my peers to the correct scriptures or shouting out answers to questions about bible stories. My initial post “conversion” and conscious efforts to connect with Jesus came in high school and were mostly of an emotional position. My thirst for intellectual depth in my faith didn’t come until college, and at that point I realized while I had spent the last four years completely devoted to my Savior – I really didn’t know much of anything that actually happened in the Bible or why. Often stories were referenced and while I vaguely remembered hearing something about them in the past, details were fuzzy, twisted, or lost all together. Insert my already awesome inferiority complex and I entered a whole new world of feeling way behind the curve – and like I had 18 years of learning to put on the fast track so that I was on par with my peers.
If I’m honest, I tend to wrestle with my faith. Asking questions, demanding evidence, and wanting all the details to fit perfectly together. While this class certainly caused me to ask even more questions, I am slowly learning that there is a certain sense of good doubt. That while I may not always have the answers, I am learning to ask better questions.
While learning scripture as an “adult” I’ve grown to appreciate the different kinds of literature within the pages as well the connections between the Old and New testaments, but my often too critical mind has also left me wondering if I’ll ever be satisfied with the things I can’t quite piece together. I’ve participated in several bible studies, most of which focus on specific books or topics within the Bible and are brief in nature. What I loved about Disciple was just how extremely in depth the course was. Everything was taken in context, and in reference to what was happening in the world during the time period it was written. Each lesson began with a short video by an expert on that set of scripture, and lead into discussion for the hour and a half. Each week the readings (a lot of reading) covered an overarching theme and took us from Genesis through Revelation through the duration of the course. The final class was a culmination of everything in sharing in the bread and the wine together
One of the final activities that we did within the class was to write what the passage in 2 Corinthians 3:2-6 (which mimics Jeremiah 31) meant to us and phrase it in our own words- essentially describing what scripture as a whole means to us – and it was such a liberating exercise. There have been numerous moments throughout the course that I was able to say “I get it”, but for the first time, incidentally at the conclusion, I was able to finally allow myself to be covered in His all consuming grace and mercy as I wrote these words:
We are an instrument of God crafted by the hands of our Creator and Master. An example of His love & law through transformed lives to the world. Spirit filled with confidence through Christ, and overflowing with the message of hope from God alone. Knowledgeable to speak life and not death that is engraved within our very core. Commanded to keep the law and love one another in faith and community.
While I still have yet to fully understand even the slightest bit of all that encompasses my faith, and I still have several questions lingering within, I have never felt closer in my relationship with Jesus. This small group of people has shown me the meaning of acceptance. The reality of community, and what it looks like to learn…and grow, and stumble…through this journey together without judgement and full of love. To be a body of believers, not a teacher and students, but brothers and sisters in Christ seeking after our King as one.
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| Disciple 1 | Trinity UMC | Fall 2013-Spring2014 |
Going back through the spiritual disciplines recently has really hit home the importance of the discipline of study in my walk, and how integral it is to my journey in particular. I had listed completing this course on my 30 before 30 list, and I hope to continue with the other Disciple courses, but more than anything, I pray that my thirst for knowledge and desire to actively participate in studying the scriptures only continues to grow.
