Reflections on Turning 30 - Simply Elliott

I turned 30 earlier this month.I know, I know. I don’t look like it. People literally don’t believe me when I tell them my age, like they legit think I’m lying. But come on people, why would I lie about being 30? People have been a little more convinced since I’m pregnant than on birthdays past when they’d discover my age but I seriously just don’t get it. Why on earth would I tell people I’m older than I am after hitting 21?

I’ve always looked young, and honestly I’ve rather enjoyed it, until I hit grad school and people refused to take me seriously because they thought I was a student in the schools I was doing consultation with. Come on now people. And thus deepened my love of nametags, especially ones with my credentials these days!

But all joking aside, this turning 30 business has made me rather nostalgic, peeking back into the last decade of my 20’s and wondering what on earth have I learned these past 10 years. Your twenties are such a variety of life – one minute you’re in college “living the dream”, the next you’re trying to figure out where to live, what to do for a living, and searching for a spouse. You actually have to figure out where your life is going, because for the first time, YOU get to make those decisions. It crazy. And scary. And absolutely exhilarating.

Here are the most profound lessons I’ve learned in my twenties:

1| Forgiveness changes everything

Not only being the one who forgives others, but accepting forgiveness, from others and being able to forgive yourself. When we refuse to seek forgiveness or to provide it, we are simply hardening ourselves and really only hurting ourselves. When we let go and embrace forgiveness, it truly is a life changing experience.

2| There is always something to be thankful for

Always. Even on the worst of days. Even when EVERYTHING seems to be going wrong. We are so blessed in so many ways and taking a moment to voice that makes all the difference.3| Friendships evolve

For so long I’ve had friends in so many different walks of life, and have been so blessed to do life with so many wonderful & drastically different people. I learned that there is a difference in having
friends, and having a close circle. We are certainly called to love our neighbors (i.e. everyone), however even Jesus had his 12 and His inner circle among those. I’ve learned that surrounding myself most closely with people who are encouraging, uplifting, and who bring me joy allows for me to be present even in those relationships that are a struggle, and to love even those who make me want to scream. And that sometimes, desired friendships may not be mutual, and that’s ok.

4| Nobody’s perfect

Even when they seem to be on social media. For so many years I’ve compared the worst of me to the best of others and constantly come up short. It really wasn’t until my Emmaus walk this past year I was able to let go and start the process of moving forward without being so critical of myself, and learning to embrace who I am in confidence. And you know what? Life is so much better because of it.5| Spread goodness, not gossip

Give people compliments. Tell them how much you appreciate them. Don’t always harp on the negative, and especially not behind someone’s back. Gossip only fuels negativity, and breeds
hatred and distrust. Be the person who changes the topic and who draws attention to the good.6| It truly is better to give than receive

And service is the best way to give. In your twenties you don’t have a lot of money (and let’s just assume it not going to exponentially increase in your thirties either) but you have time. And talent. It was in my twenties that I was able to travel the world spreading the gospel, building things, and loving people. Summer long mission trips isn’t something a full time job doesn’t always allow for, however we have since found the a local shelter to serve at along with opportunities through our church. There are so many needs to be met and we have so much to offer in meeting those needs – all we need to do is give!7| The difference in being busy vs. being hurried

In college free time was a given even in the midst of classes, extracurriculars, and jobs but when you move into the “real world” somehow the need to do all the things expands and often doesn’t include making time for what’s fun. When you’re hurried, you don’t have time to be still. You don’t have time to really even focus on what you’re doing because you’re not fully present in that moment. It’s ok to be busy – and have lots of things on your to do list – but it is essential to make sure take time to step back, and to be still.8| It is essential to take time to recharge

This is what keeps up from moving from busy to hurried. Take your vacation days! Spend time with your spouse, your friends, your family – and be fully present when you do! Leave the phone in your purse. Don’t think about work. Do what you love & don’t apologize for it. Take that hike. Read that book. Lay by the pool. Take the time to give yourself the boost needed to tackle your schedule.9| Our bodies are fragile, but amazing

I was 26 when we found out I had a tumor in my thyroid. Just a year after being married and finishing grad school, I was more worried about finding a job after my fellowship and continuing to learn how to be a wife! I never thought about my body failing me. A little over a year after that, my husband was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. Before 5 years of marriage we had to learn the ins & outs of what it meant to love and serve one another through the “sickness” portion of our vows. And I must say, that while my twenty-something self thought I couldn’t love my husband more, these two things have blown me out of the water in that regard. And now being pregnant, I’m seeing even more of the incredible things the body is capable of doing. I’ve learned that we aren’t invincible, and that taking care of myself is imperative.

10|Doing what you love & are passionate about is key

I am quite fortunate to be in a field where I love my discipline, and even my actual job and the agency I work for, but I know that is quite rare. While sometimes your vocation and your calling don’t always align perfectly – I’ve learned it’s imperative to not only know what you love doing, but to do it! Even it is just a hobby, or somewhat of a side job. Hence this space. I love to write, and this space has grown into something I never dreamed of. So in turning 30, I’m taking my own advice and have some fun things planned moving forward with this little space. ONE WEEK till the launch of something awesome!

Here’s to another decade of lessons! What have
you learned in your twenties? Join in & let us know 🙂

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